Growing Up in the Choir

Monday, August 25, 2025

Happy Monday, my friends! One of the church spaces that has often and historically been a haven for LGBTQIA+ people, particularly gay men, is the church choir. Artistic expression, otherwise considered unmanly, has been permitted when it praises God in song and dance. While we can point to specific Bible passages which support men praising God through music, in a lived reality, both Queer and straight men have found a refuge in church choirs. Not only have the careers of many noted musicians began by singing in church, entire genres have their roots in church music.

Even though my immediate family is not particularly musical, I’ve always been musically inclined. I grew up playing the violin and then the clarinet. When I was about ten years old, my church was celebrating its 100^th anniversary and put out a call for adults and children to join a special choir for the occasion. Through a misunderstanding, I got signed up for the weekly adult choir (there was no children’s or youth choir at the time). Starting as a boy soprano and then, following puberty, a tenor, I sang with the choir for the next nine years until I left for college. I also trained as a cantor to be able to sing at other services. At the height of my church kid/church teenager years I’d serve the 8am service as a master of ceremonies, sing with the choir at the 10am service, teach Sunday School[1], and then either join my family for or cantor the 12pm service. I didn’t think about it at the time, but my connection with the Divine and with church was almost entirely through liturgy and the arts. Naturally, when I arrived at Sewanee, I joined the University Choir[2] which serves as the liturgical working choir for All Saints Chapel, singing each Sunday service and a special Evensong each month in addition to the Festival of Lessons and Carols in December and a spring concert. Unfortunately, after college I’ve only sung briefly with other choirs.

Choral music requires a certain discipline which I have never fully had. For me music, particularly church music, should be personal and between the singer and God. Yes, I love good, well performed music, but we often run the risk of promoting the artistry over the object of the music, which in church should be God. When I served on the vestry[3] of an Episcopal church in Pennsylvania, we had a series of lengthy conversations about the merits of replacing the boiler versus continuing to fund paid choral scholar positions. The director of music in complete sincerity argued that people could wear coats in a cold church, but they couldn’t hear excellent music without the choral scholars.

Church music should elevate our hearts and minds to God. It should help create an experience of the holy among us and allow more of the kin-dom of God to break into our lives. However, our experience of faith and spirituality should not be dependent on that music. If music and the arts get us to church and assist our praise of God, it is serving its best ends. However, when music and the arts take the place of God in our lives or become the only reason we continue to engage with church or with faith, then we need to critically examine what we’re doing.

How has music and the arts shown up in your faith journey? What are your top five church songs?

Let us pray: O God, whom saints and angels delight to worship in heaven: Be ever present with your servants who seek through art and music to perfect the praises offered by your people on earth; and grant to them even now glimpses of your beauty, and make them worthy at length to behold it unveiled for evermore; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

“For Church Musicians and Artists,” The Book of Common Prayer 1982

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben +

PS. My top five church songs are:

1.     “What Wondrous Love is This” (The Sacred Harp 1991 - #159)

2.     “King of Glory, King of Peace” (The Hymnal 1982 - #383)

3.     “Gather Us In” (Glory and Praise (3^rd ed.) - #471)

4.     “Dear Lord and Father of Mankind” (The Hymnal 1982 - #653)

5.     “I’ll Praise My Maker While I’ve Breath” (The Hymnal 1982 - #429)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7I_HZg80S4

[1] For the Catholics and former Catholics who might be reading, this was CCD.

[2] One of our guests on Season Two of “Coming Out Christian,” the Rev. Cn. Ryan Currie, was also a part of the University Choir and discusses the choir during his episode.

[3] Congregational governing board

Joy as Strength

Sunday, August 24, 2025

The Rev. Amy Barlak Aspey (she/her)

Lead Pastor, Short North Church

Allied Christian

For over a decade, “Aunt Amy Camp” has become a favorite summer tradition. This is a time for our nieces and nephews to come visit my husband, Ryan, and I by themselves (or with another sibling) and make memories together. An unexpected gift is that Ryan and I find ourselves enjoying things we would never have chosen.

When two of our nieces selected Zoombezi Bay, a waterpark at the Columbus Zoo, as their activity; I was skeptical. But, as we zipped down the slides, water splashing everywhere, and all of us shrieking in delight, I was overcome by a deep sense of joy. Why are adults often hesitant about connecting with joy? Joy is nourishing. After several hours, our bodies were tired, but joy kept us climbing the steps for one more slide.

The prophet Nehemiah talks about “the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Only God, the Source of Joy, could dream up something as wonderful as joy being a source of strength. Experiences of undeniable joy remind us of the importance of joy as a spiritual practice, where every day, we connect with Unlimited Joy to allow God’s love to nurture us.

Joy is a birthright, gifted to all of God’s children. Joy can’t be stolen or legislated. Joy is available anywhere that God is, which is everywhere. Joy is a divine blessing that is often in plain sight just waiting to be experienced.

Tapping into The Source of Joy reminds us that we are profoundly loved and never alone. Joy doesn’t erase difficult things; it does offer strength to keep going.

Reflection

What brings you joy? (What delighted us as children often has something to teach us.)

Action

Make time for joy every day and may The Source of Joy be your strength.

Statement on the Death of Dr. James Dobson, Jr.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

August 22, 2025

WESTERVILLE, OH - LOVEboldly acknowledges the passing of Dr. James Dobson, Jr., on August 21, 2025. We extend our condolences to his family and those who are grieving his loss. We pray that they will feel the grace and peace of God.

At the same time, we must honestly acknowledge that Dr. Dobson’s teachings and influence caused profound harm to countless LGBTQIA+ individuals and families over many decades. Through Focus on the Family and his extensive writings, Dr. Dobson promoted parenting approaches and theological interpretations that led to the rejection, condemnation, and emotional abuse of LGBTQIA+ children and adults.

His advocacy for conversion therapy, his characterization of LGBTQIA+ identities as disorders to be “cured,” and his teachings that encouraged parents to withdraw love and support from their LGBTQIA+ children directly contributed to family estrangement, mental health crises, and, tragically, suicide among many people, including many Queer Christians. These approaches stand in stark contrast to the message of Christ’s unconditional love and affirmation.

We have walked alongside too many survivors of these harmful teachings, individuals who were made to feel broken, sinful, and unworthy of love simply for being who God created them to be. We have witnessed the significant and ongoing trauma inflicted on families who were taught to choose ideology over their own children.

Further, we acknowledge and mourn the ways that Dr. Dobson's influence built and expanded the sin of White Christian nationalism in the United States.

While we recognize that Dr. Dobson believed he was following his faith convictions, we firmly believe that his interpretations were misguided and fundamentally unchristian. The Gospel calls us to love unconditionally, to embrace the marginalized, to find sacred worth in every person, and to see each person as bearing the image and likeness of God. True Christian love does not demand that LGBTQIA+ people change who they are to be acceptable to God or to their families.

We remain committed to supporting LGBTQIA+ individuals and families who continue to heal from these harmful teachings. We will continue advocating for affirming theology that recognizes God's love for all people, exactly as God created them to be.

Our hope is that Dr. Dobson’s passing can serve as a moment of reflection for faith communities to recommit themselves to the radical love and inclusion that Jesus modeled, a love that builds bridges rather than walls, that heals rather than harms, and that sees every person as beloved children of God.

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For media inquiries or interviews, please contact:

Rev. Dr. Ben Huelskamp

Executive Director, LOVEboldly

bhuelskamp@loveboldly.net | www.loveboldly.net