Louder Love

The Rev. Lucy Kelly

Allied Person of Faith

Quote

“When what we offer folks is a restricted diet of love and do not provide an equal portion of justice, we are only talking about a partial gospel — not a whole one.”

-Emilie Townes, “In a Blaze of Glory” (1995)

Devotion

Read John 3:17.

During an intergenerational reflection event for the play, The Laramie Project, a college student asked a question, “If hate is usually shouted, and love is often a gentle whisper…how do we make love louder?” Our reconciling ministry and our church leaders have wrestled with this question ever since. My eyes (and ears) are constantly on the lookout for this louder love. I saw it at the Pride festival in Grove City, OH, where everyone’s true colors were celebrated and applauded. I hear it on social media when someone kindly explains Queer terminology to help educate the masses. I saw it on a beautiful mural painted on a church wall in East Dallas, TX; it said: “Together we flourish,” and in the background was the Pride flag, hands holding the peace sign in various skin tones, and the Trans flag. I hear it in the beautiful music by the band The Many, which we sing in worship regularly. I saw and heard it when I met up with other clergy at the state house to plead for gender-affirming care. I see it every time I spot a Pride flag, anywhere.

The Pride flag has become lifesaving for my family (i.e., a symbol of openness, safety, affirmation, justice, and love). My oldest child is Trans male, and he is very patient with me and his dad. We have always tried to lead with love and offer the best care to help him flourish, feel safe, and be proud of who he is. It turns out, loving as a gentle whisper is not always enough. We discovered that as we educated ourselves on gender-affirming care, found support groups for all of us, and sought affirming health providers…the more obvious it was that our love needed to be louder…if we hoped for it to transform us. Our child knows who he is and who he wants to continue to grow into.

As we stopped constantly questioning our parenting, we realized that our child thrives when we openly declare our love and support of him being his authentic self. We told family and friends our child’s chosen name and pronouns, with confidence and pride. What we received in return was either respect or love. Respect was shown by honoring our request to support our child’s name and pronouns, even if they did not understand or agree (they generally kept that opinion to themselves). Love was shown in a different way. People who walked this journey closely with us, showed us compassion as parents while also honoring our child and his needs. These friends didn’t judge or question our parenting; they encouraged us to transform and make hard decisions. They saw our failures and struggles, and they cried with us. They did not condemn us; they stayed with us. They are helping love to be louder; love that transforms me and my spouse. They continue to support our child with affirmation.

As parents, we would love to put a protective bubble around our children so the world cannot hurt them. We do not want them to feel the need to fit in just to avoid standing out. What our children need, however, is to be empowered to be their authentic selves in a world that will always be filled with challenges and ignorance (hate). We love our child. We want him to love himself. We will continue to get some things wrong, but we will keep love loud.

Jesus did not come to condemn the world, but to save it. He did not come to offer hate; he came to share love through justice. This is the louder love that transforms us.

Reflection

1. What does louder love look/sound like to you? Where have you seen/heard/felt this louder love?

2. Was there a time in your life when you needed this louder love, but all you experienced was a whisper (or worse)?

3. What does it mean to you to focus on the text of John 3:17 (rather than the popular John 3:16)?

Action

Find ways to offer louder love in this world. What can you do today to help someone know they are loved?

Church Without Walls

Maggie

LGBTQIA+ Person of Faith

Quote

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

-Matthew 18:20 (NRSV)

Devotion

I used to think church had to look a certain way. Pews and steeples, organs and offering plates, people dressed in their Sunday best nodding along to sermons that never quite made room for people like me. For a long time, I believed that if I couldn’t find Jesus in those spaces or if those spaces couldn’t find room for me, then maybe I was the problem.

But then I discovered that some of my most sacred moments happened around kitchen tables. At Pride festivals where strangers became family. In group chats at 2 AM when someone needed to know they weren’t alone. In coffee shops where we parsed out theology and trauma in equal measure, trying to figure out if there was still a place for us in this ancient faith.

Jesus’ promise in Matthew 18 is beautifully simple and radically democratic. Two or three people. That’s it. Not a building, not a denomination, not a 501(c)(3) status or a professionally trained clergy person. Just a handful of people showing up authentically, carrying Christ’s name—which is to say, carrying love—into the space between them.

For those of us who’ve been told we don’t belong in “real” churches, this verse is an invitation to stop waiting for permission. The Divine shows up where people gather with open hearts and genuine presence. God inhabits our chosen families, our support groups, our found communities. Christ is present in a Trans woman’s living room where friends gather for movie night, in the Queer couple’s backyard during Sunday brunch, in the nonbinary person’s book club discussing theology and fashion over glasses of wine.

We don’t need a building to be the church. We already are the church: whenever we show up for each other, whenever we create space for authenticity and grace, and whenever we refuse to let anyone worship alone.

Reflection

1. Where have you experienced Christ’s presence outside of traditional church settings?

2. Who are the “two or three” people in your life who help you encounter the sacred?

3. How might you create or nurture a space where others can experience belonging and divine presence?

Action

Reach out to one or two people who have been part of your spiritual journey: friends who’ve walked with you through doubt, questions, or transformation. Invite them for coffee, a walk, or a video call. Tell them what their presence has meant to you, and if it feels right, share a simple prayer or moment of gratitude together.

Can Rituals Be Meaningful?

Alejandro Rodriguez

LGBTQIA+ Person of Faith

Devotion

Ash Wednesday is full of ritual. Taking the palms from last year’s Palm Sunday to create the ashes we mark our foreheads with. It’s a visible sign. It makes a bold statement about who we are as people of faith. The ashes are a sign of repentance and the stance we will take over Lent.

As my faith has evolved, I’ve struggled more and more with rituals of the church. I’m having a really tough time connecting.

I know a huge part of my struggle is that I don’t really understand their origins as well as I should. And I also feel that churches don’t do a great job explaining rituals without making them feel flat.

This is especially true for LGBTQIA+ people.

Most rituals do not reflect the faith lived experiences of our people.

It seems to me that we need to do a lot better storytelling around why we started the rituals in the first place; maybe including Queer people in the storytelling.

Jesus knew the power of storytelling. For me, his parables were often the best way to help me understand things. They were wonderfully rich ways of making the commonplace into the extraordinary. The regular into the sacred.

I really do try to find the sacred in everything. I know it’s there if we look. And there are lessons there for us when we do that can and should be honored with meaningful rituals.

Reflection

1. How do rituals move you?

2. What would make rituals more meaningful for you?

3. Which parables have provided growth and meaning? Which have been challenging?

Action

If you’re struggling with a ritual, can you make it your own? Re-write the liturgy to make it meaningful for you. Make it truly reflective of your understanding of the Divine and your full understanding of who you are as a child of God.