Growing in the Cracks

The Rev. Dr. Ben Huelskamp

LGBTQIA+ Person of Faith

Executive Director, LOVEboldly

Quote

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.”

-John 15:5 (NRSV)

Devotion

Every day I walk past a tree in my neighborhood that shouldn’t exist. It’s rooted in a crack in the sidewalk, no more than three inches wide, surrounded by concrete on all sides. By every reasonable measure, it should have withered years ago. And yet every spring, leaves sprout and the tree grows stubbornly toward the sun.

When Jesus talks about being the vine and us being the branches, I think about that tree. I think about all the ways we’re told we shouldn’t thrive; that our identities are incompatible with faith, that we can’t be both Queer and Christian, that we have to choose between authenticity and our faith.

We’ve been planted in impossible conditions, surrounded by systems and theologies that seem designed to keep us from flourishing.

But here’s what I’ve learned: connection to the people, places, and things that keep us grounded are the soil and water we need to flourish and God’s the sun we grow towards. That tree survives because its roots run deep, finding sustenance in places no one else can see. We survive, we grow stubbornly toward the sun, and eventually we bear fruit because we stay connected to the God who created us exactly as we are.

Abiding doesn’t mean being passive. That tree is actively pushing through concrete, doing the hard work of staying alive. Our abiding looks like refusing to abandon ourselves or our faith when people insist we must choose one or the other. It looks like finding nourishment in spirituality and community even when traditional spaces have failed us. It looks like the daily practice of returning to the truth that we belong to God, and nothing—not theology, not politics, not other people’s fear—can sever that connection.

The fruit we bear might not look like what the world expects. But it’s real. It’s ours. And it grows from a root system deeper than anyone else can see.

Reflection

1. What “impossible conditions” have you had to push through to maintain your faith and authenticity?

2. What practices or relationships help you stay connected to the Divine when everything else feels hostile or uncertain?

3. What kind of fruit has your life produced that might not be recognized or valued by traditional religious spaces?

Action

Go outside and find something growing in an unexpected place: a weed in a crack, a plant in a neglected corner, or moss on concrete. Take a photo or simply sit with it for a few minutes. Let it remind you of your own resilience.